Tuesday, December 1, 2009


I like this holiday-Halloween a lot ... wearing different outfits for parties .. its sorta cute .. I see a lot of Ghost sceneries around horror movies ... This reminds me of something truly memorable for me.
Its common if you are from India, you might've seen people around talking about bad omens, inauspicious times, dead people coming as spirits ... This story is about Such an experience!
When we (my sister and I) Were kids, every summer We Were taken to my dads home town Jagannathapuram (Kakinada, Andhra Pradesh, India). Were there a lot of power cuts in Those Days. It was of course a share of enjoyment for the kids, We Could play different games taught by our favorite aunt and chat all night long on the moonlit terrace.
One day, When We Were all sitting in the living room and watching a movie Sunday, a girl in her late teens cam running and panting. We were shocked to see her crying her eyes out and not stopping Even After seeing her apprehensive crowd of audience. Altho she Looked sorta relieved to see some party around, She Did not talk for an hour, a lot of Effective counseling she cried That She saw her Neighbouring woman burning herself up and dying inside a closed hut ...! That night and the Following day, There Were sobs all over the place. Firstly, It was a suicide, and she burnt herself SECONDLY! .. Imagine the woman's state When She Was found, ghastly! Of course, all I Could do WAS imagine, children Were not allowed to talk about it.
Days Passed, every day There Was a new rumor. One night, there WAS power cut and I got to hear the rumors about the dead lady, Which Were Avoided from children as much till then ... Some Said She Was waiting near the well, Some Said She Was sitting at the water tank crying for help, Some Said She Was it a banyan tree ... Hmmm ... I was around 8 with least rational thinking and my imagination ran wild!
This Introduced a new look - fear to me .. quite interesting, yet scary! There Was fear all over for the rest of the week ..
On one good day, we (kids) Were all on the terrace, and no power as usual, the rumors Effective incident, the kids, all of 'em, liked to hear' em every day .. so on .. horror stories Were Gathered and narrated by A Few of our spies and confidantes. It started to get dark, we Discussed a whole lot of them ... we aussi Planned to Do Some spooky things like talking to her spirit (or soul or ghost) and ask asking her to go away .. It was all too scary and weird . We Discussed about horror movies like evil dead, and the omen exorcist, and How Many people died watching 'em. As our gibber Continued, Seriously I was waiting for the power to be back on, I really HAD to go to the restroom! Were restrooms in villages like outhouses, in the backyard, in the mid 90s odd. Scared of darkness, I went to my aunt ask asking for help, She Said, "its very dark out there, do not you go there and get into bad things. There Are Many bad spirits at this time, and children are not Supposed to roam around in dark! " I thought, "my God All Those rumors are so right!" I went to my mom Almost crying, and caught her with my cold, trembling hand. She Realized at once WAS something up with me. I Asked her to come with me till the restroom. She Was smiling pleasantly, I still remember the beauty of her calmness in the golden light of lanterns. She just said "do not get scared, and do not believe in Such Things ..." when I Refused to go alone, she added 
"There is no devil other than the fear in us, there is no God other than the spirit in us" 

 I was too young to Understand Clearly this ... Did not I still go. Then she Asked me do you remember Hanuman? I thought "of course I do! Ramayan my favorite hero in" at last she saw a smile on my face and said "Whenever you are scared for anything, anything in this world .. just say 'Jai Hanuman!' and your fears Will Be driven away! "
[My mom always HAD Told me stories about how Hanuman Helped Rama Sita from Ravana in saving, how He Was known for bravery and His righteousness, and That he is a Chiranjeevi-which means-he lives forever-And Many believe That he is now in penance in the Himalayas.]
She still cam with me and Waited for me at the restroom. But I felt like a loser and coward. That night, not Being ble to sleep, with lot of duality in mind, I started walking Towards the backyard again, chanting softly to myself 'Jai Hanuman' and calling out to the 'devil' to come and eat me. I Stood in the dark for atleast 20breaths and faced my devil All which WAS nothing but A Few times of fear.
People say, fear of God is the first step Towards wisdom ... I think That is a different kind of fear, its a fear that's keeping us from doing evil things, fearing the evil purpose is Becoming vulnerable, and embracing weakness. Evil is not an external force icts inside every person. And one might think why do we believe in an external positive power called Expired When God is belief, there is no thing as devil. It works so, since icts hard to believe in our own strength, purpose surprisingly easy to believe in super hero stuff!-That there exists Some strength, Have you can do anything and everything.
[In the Ramayana, Hanuman odd Did Not Know That He Had Such Great strength to help the omnipotent Rama, Unless He Was Reminded of it. (Though It was a bane from wise That he forget His strength)]
At times yet to be Explained Some things are Attributed to Gods leelas .. making Judgments about Such Things is out of scope of this blog altho!
So, Concluding ..
Fear is in us, it is a mistake Suppressing, Knowing and facing it is right, I believe.
I can never forget Those words of my mom .. that I always Kept in mind ..
'There is no devil Greater Than the evil in self And There Was No God, stronger than the strength in self.' Because They Were the one's that made me discover my spirit - and curb my fears by facing em.
And God Hanuman is my favorite forever .. I have a poster of baby Hanuman in my room gifted by my friend! :) I simply love his righteous and heroic tales!
Jai Hanuman!
Soujanya Indigo

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